I never actually lied about the number of hours I put in, but I was extremely creative in how I counted them! This, of course, was born of an intense hatred and loathing for the "work", coupled with the realisation that if my average did not hit double figures, I might be taken to task over it! Don't get me wrong, I wasn't scared of knocking on peoples doors and being told to regularly to "f*ck off"- I just could see no sense in it. I considered it to be humiliating, degrading and utterly futile!
One of my favourite ploys was to work alone as often as possible. Then I'd begin by knocking at a door where all the indications were that nobody lived there. I'd stay on the doorstep long enough for the others to wander ahead of me, then I would go to visit a dear, lonely old man, who lived alone in a quaint old cottage.
He had no interest whatsoever in Jehovahs Witnesses, but he made a lovely cup of tea! This was, I think, a perfect mutually advantageous arrangement. He would get at least one regular visitor 2 or 3 times a week, and I had somewhere to go other than "on the doors". He took the mags and books regularly, and I was even able to off-load tons of back-issues, thus further enhancing my otherwise meagre report!
I remember one afternoon, I made the terrible mistake of taking the CO with me to see this elderly chap. Wise cracking and funny from the"platform", this particular CO was so bloody rude and obnoxious to this dear, sweet old man, that it's a wonder he ever allowed me to visit him again! But he did, and sanity and good manners prevailed once more.
Towards the end of my glorious career as a loving and wise overseer (ho hum), I didn't even bother talking about the "truth" (which by then, I had begun to realise in my heart that it wasn't). Instead, I would listen to this old man talk about his life - his childhood memories - his war experiences and so on. The old man is dead now, bless him.
The ironic thing is that, with hindsight, I can see that these "beefed up hours" were of greater value in terms in terms of kindness and respect, than all the sodding hours I ever notched up on someone's doorstep!
Jonty
